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Current time:0:00Total duration:2:08

Writing: Syntax — Basic example

Writing: Grammar

Video transcript

- [Instructor] Oneuli Beach in Maui has black sand. The sand is made up of ground lava instead of ground coral and shells. So let's think about this. So, the way it read isn't horrible, and I actually like breaking things up into kind of smaller sentences, that tends to just be kind of my style, but it feels a little redundant. You say on Oneuli, I don't know the right way to pronounce it, beach in Maui has black sand, and then you're saying the sand is made up of ground lava. So it does feel like, we just finished talking about the sand and then you say the sand again. So maybe, kind of a more elegant way, would just to be kind of refer to this, and maybe not even have another sentence. So let's look at the other choices. Oneuli Beach in Maui has black sand with the sand being made up of ground lava, yeah, they're kind of going in the direction that I'm implying, but with the sand being made up, it feels still redundant. You said sand, and then you're saying sand again. So, the beach in Maui has black sand, and this sand is, so once again, you're using sand and sand, it's kind of the same problem that you did up here. Sand, and then you're immediately saying the sand again. Oneuli Beach in Maui has black sand, which is made up of ground lava instead of ground coral and shells. Yeah, this one feels nice. This one feels really good, because you're not being, you're not repeating the word sand over and over again, unnecessarily, we know you're talking about sand. Beach in Maui has black sand, which is, the second up here, before we corrected it, the second sentence is referring, is referring, is talking about this black sand so why don't we just say, why don't we just create a clause where we say which is made up of ground lava instead of coral, oh, instead of ground coral and shells. It actually makes the connection in my brain a little bit clearer, that okay, what we're talking about made up of ground coral, ground lava instead of ground coral and shells, they're talking about, they're talking about this black sand right over here. So I definitely like this last choice the most.