Writing: Concision, style, and tone — Basic example 2

during his trip to the Vancouver zoo a man was shocked when an escaped baboon stole his ice-cream afraid of sustaining serious injuries the man consented to the baboon that he keep the ice cream which wasn't his favorite flavor anyway I also would consent to a baboon that was trying to eat my ice cream but anyway let's see if this is the best way to say that so the man consented to the baboon that he keep the ice cream so this is a little bit strange especially because the man considered the baboon that he who's he referring to I mean we know he keep the ice cream at the baboon keep the ice cream but it still feels a little bit our talked about he the man he the baboon it feels like a little bit of a clumsy way of saying this so let's see if the other the other choices how those work so the man let the baboon keep the ice cream which wasn't his favorite flavor anyway so that one actually doesn't seem to too bad so let's see afraid of sustaining serious injuries the man let the baboon keep the ice cream which wasn't his favorite flavor anyway yeah the seems seems decent afraid of sustaining serious injuries the man granted the baboon permission to keep the ice cream which wasn't his favorite flavor anyway this seems like a very formal thing to do while a baboons trying to eat your ice cream now this this is this is way too wordy and just kind of weird afraid of sustaining serious injuries the man authorizes the baboon authorize the baboon to keep the ice cream that too feels a little bit bureaucratic for for what's going on I think the man just let the baboon keep the ice cream nice and clean to the point it is concise it is the way that most human beings actually talk and it doesn't sound like something that's happening at at City Hall so yeah the man can the man let the baboon keep the ice cream even consented to the baboon that he keep this was very clumsy and it's consenting for someone else to keep ice cream is not how we we talk in everyday life