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Writing: Concision, style, and tone — Harder example 1

Writing: Grammar

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- [Instructor] Three-dimensional facial scans are being used to determine how well patients have aged in comparison to their peers. So actually I like the word used. It felt very clean. I'm using only one word here, and I was able to understand what it said. Three-dimensional facial scans are being used to determine how well patients have aged in comparison to their peers. So I actually like this. So I'm already inclined to no change, but let's just look at other choices and hopefully feel a little bit better why those would be bad choices. Three-dimensional facial scans are being usefully employed to determine how well patients have aged in comparison to their peers. So usefully employed. It's not really changing the meaning. It's not giving us anything more, and it's just more wordy. It's a little bulky. Three-dimensional facial scans are being, instead of saying, are being used to determine, we are saying are being usefully employed to determine. Well, I can just say used. This is more concise. It's more clean. If you can get the same meaning across and do it in a simple way and a more concise way, you should do it that way. So I definitely don't like usefully employed. Three-dimensional facial scans are being put into action to determine how well patients have aged in comparison to their peers. Well, put into action is another way of saying used and used is cleaner. It is more concise. It gets to the point, while put into action, put into action to determine how well, it's just a little bit bulkier. This wouldn't be, if someone wrote this, it's not like they committed some crime by writing are being put into action to determine, but if I was editing that sentence, I'd say, well, why don't you just replace that with used? It's much simpler and cleaner. Easier to read. Three-dimensional facial scans are being employed and utilized. Once again, this is, this is a very bulky way of saying used, and so, no need to add bulk to your sentences, just to kinda I guess add more words. Three-dimensional facial scans are being used. That's very nice and clean. So I haven't answered the question. That's an important part of it. No change.