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Writing: Concision, style, and tone — Harder example 1

Video transcript
- [Instructor] Three-dimensional facial scans are being used to determine how well patients have aged in comparison to their peers. I actually like the word "used." It felt very clean. I'm using only one word here and I was able to understand what it said. Three-dimensional facial scans are being used to determine how well patients have aged in comparison to their peers. I actually like this, so I'm already inclined to no change, but let's just look at the other choices and hopefully feel a little bit better why those would be bad choices. Three-dimensional facial scans are being usefully employed to determine how well patients have aged in comparison to their peers. Usefully employed, it's not really changing the meaning. It's not really giving us anything more, and it's just more wordy. It's a little bulky. Three-dimensional facial scans are being, instead of saying, "Are being used to determine," we're saying, "Are being usefully employed to determine." I could just say, "Used." This is more concise. It's more clean. If you can get the same meaning across and do it in a simpler way and a more concise way, you should do it that way, so I definitely don't like usefully employed. Three-dimensional facial scans are being put into action to determine how well patients have aged in comparison to their peers. Put into action is another way of saying used and used is cleaner. It is more concise. It gets to the point while put into action, "put into action to determine how well," just a little bit bulkier. If someone wrote this, it's not like they committed some crime by writing, "Are being put into action to determine," but if I were editing that sentence, I'd say, "Why don't you just replace that with used?" It's much simpler and cleaner, easier to read. Three-dimensional facial scans are being employed and utilized. Once again, this is a very bulky way of saying, "Used." So no need to add bulk to your sentences, just to kinda add more words. Three-dimensional facial scans are being used. That's very nice and clean. Oh, I haven't answered the question. That's an important part of it. No change.