Current time:0:00Total duration:1:49
0 energy points

Writing: Concision, style, and tone — Basic example 1

Video transcript
a new solar powered bicycle can reach speeds of up to as high as 30 miles per hour so just as I read it that felt awkward it felt like I said more than I needed to say up to as high as 30 miles per hour not even looking at the choices if I were to write this in a more concise way you know kind of a cleaner more efficient way I would say a new solar powered bicycle can reach speeds of up to 30 miles per hour I don't even have to write as high as 30 miles per hour so let's see what our choices are so I already said I definitely want to change it so I'm not going to pick no change and just replacing this with up to isn't isn't one of these isn't one of these choices so I'm gonna have to look a little bit more closely at these a new solar powered bicycle can reach speeds of upwards and close to 30 miles per hour this also feels very bulky way more words than I need to use and also doesn't make a lot of sense to be upwards upwards and close to I mean are they saying upwards of 30 miles per hour and also close to it feels like a very strange phrasing and definitely using more words than I need to use a new solar powered bicycle can reach speeds of nearly 30 miles per hour yeah I like that it's actually in some ways it's more concise and it actually it's one word versus two words that I had right over here so I like that nearly that's very clean very concise really straight to the point easy to read a new solar powered bicycle can reach speeds of nearly 30 miles per hour and then over here the last choice you have nearly as high as so once again this feels very bulky it's using more words than I need to use when I can just use nearly why would I use nearly as high as so I would rule that one out as well