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Course: Pixar in a Box > Unit 2
Lesson 6: Pitching and feedback | 6Activity 1: Pitching
Part A: Take a scene that you storyboarded in Lesson 5 and practice pitching it first in front of a mirror, then to a close friend, then to someone who you don’t know as well, but is willing to listen and provide feedback. Here are some things to think about:
- Who are the characters and how can you make them distinctive?
- Pull out and highlight any dialogue between characters so it’s easily visible when you’re going through your scene.
- What are some descriptive words you can use to help your audience use their imagination?
- What kind of energy can you bring to your pitch? Consider body movements, voice characteristics and sound effects.
- Remember to pay attention to pacing; going through action scenes quickly while slowing down to let moodier moments breath.
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Story name: Blood on Fire
Main Main character: Mayella
Dropped off as a kit, Mayella the fox was raised by a human family. But she has a secret: she has the power over fire. Her past about being a Magic Fox, a special kind of fox, is brought to light when her adoptive mother Jess is afraid that her parents might take Mayella away. So she transforms into a human and attends the local high school. Soon. she finds more Magic Foxes transformed from other clans- and even her own! When her long-lost brother BurningLeaf threatens the sleepy town of RosettiVille, Mayella realizes she has to overcome many obstacles to understand who she truely is and face off against her tyrannical brother.(80 votes)
I love that you gave the story an unexpected twist; that really gets the audiences attention.(26 votes)
Tentative story name ( I appreciate suggestions): Ancient Element
Main Characters: A boy from the fire tribe and a girl from the water tribe (need names)
On a world where a water tribe lives on one half and a fire tribe lives on the other half, there is a never-ending war between the tribes. Our main characters have both had family members killed in the war. Each of them inherited an item from one of their parents (a key for the water girl and I-don't-know-what for the fire guy). Each year, there is an event called The Flame Games to resolve who will win resources of the planet. This event is mediated by a small tribe of wanderers, the metal tribe, who live in a secret piece of the planet's core. The metal tribe has lived a long time and they know that there used to be an earth tribe and a wood tribe, but also that the wars decimated them. One metal tribe person, who is very wise, also knows about the secret artifacts left behind to the fire boy and water girl. The metal man tells the fire boy in the next Flame Games that the fighting must be stopped, the water girl learns of this and befriends the metal man and fire boy to the dismay of the rest of the water tribe, and the three work together to stop the fighting, rediscover the lost tribes, and use the secret objects to save their planet. I can vividly see what I want the characters to look like, but I hope I'm not stopped at animation because I think this would make a good movie. I also can vividly imagine some scenes, but I'm unsure how they can fit in the story.(26 votes)
The fire boy could have the location of the door/gate the water girl (Lily? That's a water flower) has the key to...Maybe it leads to a secret place (imagination go wild!) or prison...(7 votes)
Name: Ten Thousand
Main Characters: A regular 7th grade boy named Xander, a mysterious new kid who will turn out to be a god named Deus
Plot: Xander goes to school on a regular day but sees a strange kid looking at him from across the room during lunch. The kid then walks away and somehow disappears around a corner. Xander eventually figures out that this kid is stalking him and confronts the kid. The kid reveals that he is a god and has important news. It turns out the world resets every 10 thousand years to be recreated by the gods. And this year is the last year of the 10 thousandth time this has happened, which means an ancient prophecy is going to come true. The prophecy states that a boy with a valiant heart shall end the cycle of ten thousand. (this will probably be more poetic in the finished story) Xander goes on a quest armed with a knife that can transport between the various ten thousand year-chunk thingys (will probably have name for these in finished stories) He must collect a relic from the thousandth chunk, 2 thousandth chunk, 3 thousandth chunk, etc. He then must go to the first year of the first chunk and prove himself worthy to the gods. Throughout the way the god-kid helps him and becomes his best friend. Xander returns home having succeeded at his quest, but discovers his new friend is no longer at the school. Xander returns to his regular, now boring life but feels better about what he has accomplished after watching the ball drop on New Year's Eve. thus showing that the cycle of ten thousand has ended.
This is just a vague idea, but I'm hoping to get it turned at some point into a movie or book. Any suggestions would be amazingly helpful, and constructive criticism too. Thanks.(19 votes)
Very ambitious! I would suggest you look up "the Hero's journey"(e.g. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero%27s_journey) and adapt your story to fit this schema. Many great stories follow this format and it might be a good way to flesh out your story. Give the main character some struggles to overcome when he travels to the other thousand years etc. Also perhaps read some history books so you can describe the world that Xander travels to. Tip: don't restrict yourself to the USA/Europe. Perhaps have him travel to North Africa (pharaohs!), Middle or South America (Aztec/Maya/Inca civilizations), Asia (Chinese dynasty) etc. Good luck!(5 votes)
- Story name: (don't know yet; suggestions would be great)
Main Character:Lillian
Lillian is a humanoid alien from the planet of Sitarist. She was taken to Earth and treated as an experiment, from these extreme experiments she lost her memory. A guy her age around 17-18 years of age took her back to her home planet. these aliens all have powers. She is told she needs to learn how to control them or she could destroy the entire planet. She is a strong fighter that never gives up, which in turn gives others their fighting spirit back. Soon she learns that she has a brother, her father is being held captive on another planet and her mother died trying to save her. She still needs help finding out who she is.(12 votes)
I like it! Maybe the story's name can be Starfall or Betrayal?(4 votes)
Story name: Daisuke the Reborn
Main character: Daisuke Makaze
It is the year 2029 AD. World War II is still going, and the world is divided between 3 superpowers: The United States of America (the Americas), the European Federation (Europe, Africa), and the Empire of Japan (Asia, Russia, Austraila, New Zealand). 7 years ago, Japan had conquered the United Kingdom for its resources using the newly-invented mecha called the Akumu Frame, striping the UK of its rights and freedoms, and renaming the country to Zone 11. Now, an ex-Japanese prince named Daisuke Makaze seeks to free the UK from Japanese rule and bring the Japanese Empire to its knees. Question is: can he do it?(11 votes)
@Tiara Rodriguez im impressed for the plot twist. oh i should add a dun dun dun right?
please comment(1 vote)
You wake up one day to realize that you've been killed in your sleep, and have 24 hours to figure out who killed you, or else you'll be like that for the rest of your life...or death, I should say...(7 votes)- I like the story. I wanted to edit it so can i do it?(2 votes)
Story Name: Natural Revenge
Main Character: Birdie Miller
Birdie Miller lives in the year of 2052, and she lives with her mom (Elaina Miller), her dad (Reegan Miller), her little sister (Kendall Miller), her little brother (Milo Miller), and her Grandpa (Levi Miller). In 2052 there are little "reservations" called Homeland (by the occupants at least), but everywhere else, Technology is ruling the world. When Milo gets sick and dies, Birdie's mom wants Birdie to go and find an old zoo that she used to go to as a kid. Birdie takes Kendall and her friend Griffin Woods, and they head to the Red Pines National Zoo of New Mexico. After 3 days, when they stop at a hotel, a fire suddenly breaks out. Griffin and Birdie get out in time, but Kendall doesn't make it out. Despite their tragic loss, they make it to the zoo after another day, but find that it is ruined and burned. The only thing left of the zoo is the Zoo Museum Director (still deciding a name for him), and his zoo. The Zoo is so sad, Birdie see's that things have to change, that these animals and plants did not deserve to die. After a day, Griffin reveals he was the one who started the fire, and he is working for someone who he thought was doing good. Despite his millions of apologies, Birdie is filled with rage and she leaves him. She then meets Klaus Evans (a boy from the city with Black hair and ice blue eyes), Lilly Willow (bleach blonde with deep blue eyes), and Parker Reynolds ( awkward boy with light brown hair and green eyes), and finds they have one thing in common: they want to protect the planet. Together, they find out the Director ruined the zoo by accidentally letting the animals drink the poison water his devices let out. When they got sick, it was easier to let them die than to try to care for them, so then, technology was needed more than ever to cope with the loss of those poor animals. They hold a riot right in front of the zoo, an to their surprise, many came. Birdie feel like she has finally achieved her quest: now more people will want to protect the earth and rebuild it, and there will be nature again.
In the very end, it reveals a little boy is reading the book that the real reader just read and is astonished by her tale. He turns to tell his adoptive mother " That girl worked really hard to change things, didn't she, mom?" The mom is shown now to really be Birdie, who is now 32, in 2068. She is staring out the window: to a world that is just more Technology-ruled than 2052. She then says "She did. But she failed her quest.", not wanting to reveal (out of shame) that she did all that, that she worked so hard for nothing to be changed.:0
I know this was a little long, but I really like this idea. There will be a second one, that I will call "The Red Book" where we will learn what happened to Lilly, Klaus, Parker and Griffin, and what her adoptive son will do after hearing it. If anyone thinks I should, I'll post some things about the second story :)
(P.S: I'D LOVE SOME TIPS)(6 votes)
Can i get help i dont understand at this one(5 votes)- Here's a pitch/screenplay of the first bit of an idea that I got for a story. I'll comment on this to add more scenes.
Furball
Scene 1
Wide shot of a dark alley inside of a bustling city, camera pointed between two buildings, from the grass nearby. You can hear dew dripping softly.
A cat slowly creeps in.
Camera positioned above the cat
The cat wiggles back and forth. You can now see a rat poking out behind a trash can.
The cat pounces on the mouse. He walks over to the grass to eat his food.
Then, he notices a poster on the wall of a building.
It's for a cat club.(5 votes) 
Pixar In A Box: Storytelling/Pitching Story. Tuesday, November 4, 2017.
Name of Story: A Walk In The Park.
Main Character(s): Evinrude.
One day, Evin was walking through the park rapidly, hurrying to his job. “Dang! I should have set an alarm” he says walking even more rapidly. “If I was working for a businessman who was the type of guy that was “en pointe” he’d be mad! Oh wait!! I am working for that guy!” he turns the corner and runs to a tall skyscraper and pulls the door open. The receptionist, who is sitting in her chair typing tells him that his boss wants to see him in his office. Evin, on the way up there thinks to himself, “He’s going to be mad, furious, or at the very least livid with me!”. When he arrives at his boss’s office, he knocks and hears a voice from within saying to come in. He opens the door and steps inside closing the door, meanwhile his boss is typing briskly at the keyboard.
Evin asks, “you wanted to see me, Sir?” Evin, being an impatient sort at the age of 30, is normally an assistant. His new job, being the 13th one, requires him to be not just an assistant but also a pitcher to new clients in the film industry. His boss has stopped typing by now and he turns his chair to face Evin, Evin looking like a deer caught in the headlights. “Evinrude. That’s your name right?” “Yes Sir.” “You’re late. You know lateness is not my friend.” “I know Sir. I promise I won’t be late again.” “No matter. I’d like you to go down to the lobby and check in on the movies. I also want you to talk to the director for the newest movie.” “You’d like me to talk to the director Sir?!” “Yes.” Evin, having never done this before, was shocked that his new boss would have him do this. “Thank you, Sir.” “Off you go now.” As Evin is leaving the office his boss says, “You’re a bright, intelligent man Evin, you’ll do very well here if you let it.” “Thank you, Sir.” He leaves then to set out on a new path.(6 votes)- I like how you gave a deep incite on what the story is about without giving up to much. I have always struggled with that.(0 votes)